All those questions
After talking with numerous people who have been touched by foster care, you can hear what they have learned and what they may have been scared of as well or even what hinders people from doing foster care in the first place.
What if you can't adopt the first baby you get?
What if the adoption takes 2 years?
What if you have to give the child back to their parents?
What if your children grow up to resent you?
What if your child has a lot of trauma that you don't know how to handle?
What if you aren't ready to have kids?
Honestly, I don't know the answer to any of those questions. Nor do I really desire to dwell on those questions as we prepare to be foster parents. Life is so unpredictable, I've known that my entire life, but more so since Kevin and I have been married- we've had a lot of mountains to climb in just a few years together. And ultimately, if you have belief in an all powerful God, you can rest knowing that even though life is messy and hard and painful, there is someone watching over you.
This truth helps when my fears get out of control. It's also the truth I rest in as I prepare to be a mom. Am I completely ready for our world to change in just a couple weeks? Probably not! Am I ready for the unpredictability that comes with foster care? Definitely! And I can say that confidently because I have such an overwhelming peace that comes only from God above.
I'm about as Type A as people come. I like to know what my day is going to look like and what my future holds. Not knowing something will drive me crazy till it's resolved or figured out. I know this about myself. The cool thing about this situation is that I willingly signed up to be a foster parent. We applied to foster up to 2 kiddos ranging in ages newborn to 5 years old. Do you know how different a 1 year old is from a 4 year old? Or even a baby girl is from a 5 year old boy? That's about as unpredictable as it gets and yet I find my heart and my mind are calm. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that foster care is for us. God has orchestrated people, moments, and events in our years of marriage to get us to this point. He has even put a peace inside me that isn't supposed to make sense. So if you find yourself wondering all these questions or worried about Kevin and I, know that we are ready because of God.
Finally...Our final class is in one week from today (January 18). After that, all of our info will be sent off to the state for a final approval. That will take 3-5 days. Then it's go time.